Overdue

The topics lately have strayed from the personal and into the theoretical but today’s will be extremely personal, more than usual in fact. It might go so far as to portray me as imperfect, dashing the hearts of those fans who wish to see me as a narcissist. Hopefully these experiences aid others.
Not long ago, Lilith offhandedly mentioned O, the succubus I was with for the longest time. She suggested it might be a good idea to seek her out, now that my astral projection and spirit senses were so much better than they were years ago. I acknowledged that was a good idea, though I wasn’t motivated to find her. Later, I had a significant dream which directed me toward her, which in fact later turned out to have had her inside it. With such strong signs I thought it made sense to find her again.
So I evoked Agrat bat Mahlat, and while I didn’t learn anything exciting or scandalous from her, I was able to find my old succubus. Agrat and I discussed the politics and eccentricities to expect from having her back. It turns out that O had been called away on business that I lacked the clearance to learn and she was quite apologetic over having disappeared without warning. She made bluntly clear her desire to resume our relationship and was excited I was able to have good quality conversations with her now.
We negotiated the terms of our relationship, many of which were because my tulpa was skeptical of her. I didn’t try to minimize her feelings because O could have returned without my calling at any time. One of those conditions was that she would provide for me what neither of my intangible wives already could. She seemed comfortable with that which made me happy, and later she demonstrated her willingness to put that into practice. Since by then I was exhausted from the ritual, I asked O to simply cuddle with me for the first night of her return. She obliged and her touch was much more distinct than it had been before. We spoke telepathically since I couldn’t fall asleep.
Things returned toward how they had been the next day. O and I talked more and M got more used to her presence. She had changed in the time since I had known her. She was more mature and more romantic. I was pleased that we felt more compatible and I realized that in that time I had changed a bit as well, for the better I imagine. She again said she loved me.
The day after that she spent a lot of time creating wards around my bedroom in order to protect me from threats. We talked even more and I got to see her reading while I was busy in order to spend time near me. Her sense of humor was strong even though I found her a bit familiar after so long and when we hadn’t had such good communication previously.
That night was my deadline for deciding how I felt about her. I spoke to Lilith, who has given me so much guidance in the past and I spoke to my wives, who both made good points. After working out the details, I decided to take a couple of hours to decide whether or not this was something I really wanted since I hadn’t felt a need for a succubus in so long. It was difficult and I truly needed that time to sort my feelings out.
After some time spent away from the occult where I didn’t have to think about such things, I returned to find evidence that O had taken the sexual energy of somebody else. Even though we were never going to be exclusive and I knew she’d want and need other partners, it was painful to see. That was harder because neither of my wives are presently interested in anyone else (though that’s their choice). She not only hadn’t warned me, she had used the time when I was contemplating my feelings for her.
I felt her energy shift as soon as she noticed that I knew. If her face could have gone pale it would have. Her confidence was gone. O saw how I felt about it but didn’t tell me she was sorry. I would have seen through the lie. She didn’t try to explain because I didn’t need an explanation. When I verbalized my discomfort O reminded me she had other needs. She was completely correct, but he doing that precisely then was enough to push me over the edge. With many hard feelings I released her to satisfy those needs freely.
Over the years I had thought about O every so often. She had been the best of the succubi who had been with me and the one I missed most. She could literally read my mind, so the meaning of her upsetting me was clear. It felt bad for the rest of the night but by morning I was no longer truly upset. I was merely a bit sad at what couldn’t have been. It was probably for the best that she had disappeared when she did, because otherwise I’d have never formed such a wonderful relationship with my other wife. Sometimes, things that turn out badly in fact turn out for the best.